NYC-Madrid

The more I fly, the less I like taking planes. In the current situation I live, this feeling is rather uncomfortable. Living 6 hours away from Spain (by plane) has obliged me to consider flying as something usual in my life. However, there is one thing that I really enjoy while I am on board: having time for myself. During the countless number of flights that I´ve taken during the last few years, I´ve realized that I cannot read or work on the plane. Sometimes (if the movie deserves it), I can put my thoughts away for a while and watch a film. But what I usually do is get lost in my thoughts. As I usually fly alone, as soon as I am allowed to turn my Ipod on, my mind flies away. And I like it.

My mind is always working, night and day. But when I am on the plane I don´t have to combine this activity with the others I do during a regular day. I enjoy remembering past things that made me happy, I try to look for alternative solutions for problems, I “revise” past conversations and situations that confused me…

So, when this man sat down on the seat next to me on the plane, I said hello to him with a brief smile. I didn´t want to give him the chance to start a conversation (Yes, call me antisocial if you want…). We took off 30 minutes late, and when the plane started to move, I commented “Thank God, we are leaving…”. I should not have said that aloud. Jaime, a Spanish mand that had been working in Manhattan for 24 years, took advantage of my comment to introduce himself. Trying to be excessively nice, he starts flirting with me (Nice, this is exactly what I was looking forward to…), and the first question he asks me (after telling me he is 45, divorced, two kids, he has a house in New Jersey and an apartment in Santiago de Compostela, two cars, three brothers...), is the number of siblings that I have. I tell him that I have a brother who is 29, younger than me. And then he goes: “…so… you are older than 29?? You don´t look your age, you look much younger… This is getting interesting…” (Interesting?????. Perfect. Right comment at a very opportune moment in my life… Nowadays I think I am the only woman on earth that would love to look older than what I actually am). I thank his comment and tell him that I am going to try to sleep (Big lie, I just want to have time for myself!) He doesn´t seem to understand Spanish…He keeps on asking questions about my private lije (Married? Single? Children? Hobbies?) As I don´t like the color the conversation is turning to, I tell him that I have a boyfriend. He stops flirting (Thank God, he will stop talking)… but he continues talking about hisfamily. Curiously, one of his brothers died of multiple sclerosis, and I couldn´t avoid telling him that I work in that disease. Huge mistake… two and a half hours chatting about diseases, treatments, symptoms… (Definitively, today is not a lucky day…)

When we are on the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, Jaime tells me that he is going to try to sleep for a while (This is my last chance!). I close my eyes and pretend I am also trying to sleep. The first thought that comes to my mind is a hug, and a text message received 30 minutes after that hug. Someone is going to miss me. I will miss him too… I could tell him to come to Spain in summer so he can visit the place where I live and many other beautiful places that I would love him to know. I would have liked to continue thinking about this, but I fall asleep. 

I wake up with the noise of the plane landing in Madrid. I am at home

Hoy

Hoy pido por ti. Pido porque todo salga bien, porque maniana a esta hora pueda hablar contigo y me cuentes que todo ha ido como estaba previsto. Pido para que todo siga su curso, sin sorpresas, sin mas sobresaltos. Porque te quiero mucho, y aunque no te lo digo a menudo eres muy importante en mi vida. Hoy quisiera estar ahi contigo. Y no puedo. Y llevo dias intentando no pensar en las malditas seis horas de vuelo y en el cambio de horario. Pero hoy no puedo mas. Estoy ahi, sientelo. Estoy a tu lado, gastandote bromas como siempre y haciendome la ninia chica para que estes pendiente de mi. Estoy ahi contandote cosas que no te importan y que escuchas y analizas como si te fuera la vida en ello. Como siempre te digo, lejos pero cerca. Quiero que maniana te despiertes pensando en mi y te quedes dormido recordando algun momento en el que nos hemos reido, en el que te has metido conmigo y me he enfadado, algun dia en el que hemos pasado horas charlando, alguno de tantos momentos que hemos vivido juntos y que me han hecho tan feliz. Y hoy pido por ti, y ayer, y anteayer... porque no soy buena creyente y solo pido cuando necesito, y no suelo dar las gracias... pero supongo que alli arriba habra alguien que me comprendera y sabra entender que ahora es necesario que me hagan caso. Porque no te quiero lejos de mi vida, porque no imagino un dia sin saber nada de ti o sin que me saques una sonrisa cuando todo ha salido mal.  Porque tenemos que hacer muchas cosas juntos y tienes que recuperarte, porque ya mismo estoy alli molestandote y compartiendo ratos contigo. Porque todo tiene que salir bien. Porque todo va a salir bien.

Lejos, pero siempre cerca